Ok so I’m a worrier. I worry about every.little.thing. Everything. However, now and again something really big crops up, that blows all of these little things into oblivion. Yeah, something happens in life that really is a worry and it puts everything else into perspective……
I’ve sat on numerous occasions, just staring at an empty “new post” screen, trying to decide how to put the last two weeks of my life into words, only to close down the laptop and seek solace from burying my head into my husband’s neck. I’ve read so many half chapters of books, closing the pages after realising that I’ve been going over the same sentence again and again. Needless to say I’ve been distracted.
To cut a long story short, the doctors discovered that our baby is not growing as much as he should be. In fact, far from it. Two weeks ago, we received the news that little man was coming early to avoid stillbirth. As you can imagine, I didn’t know where to put myself. When you imagine having a baby, especially your first, you imagine giving birth to a little cherub, all soft and pink, and seeing their little face in front of yours minutes after their release into the world. What I did not picture was having my tiny, frail child whisked away before catching a glimpse of him………
Phil and I have lived in hospitals for the last fortnight. Scans, consultants, blood tests by the millions, all mixed in with sleepless nights and too many episodes of “Cupcake Wars”. Yet here I am today with my little one wriggling around inside me. “We made it little man. We made it to 35 weeks”.
I have another scan tomorrow. Probably our final scan before delivery. The consultants have been monitoring me closely to get me to the 35-36 week mark, as the risks to the baby are massively reduced from around 34weeks gestation. So….yeah……I might be a mum this time next week!
The recent events have all been smudged into a bit of a blur, however, the thing that stands out clear as day, is that my husband really is the greatest person in my life and I couldn’t have made it through this without him. I am very lucky.
Love to you all,