I sit here with Leo making his little baby sleep noises to my left (my new favourite sounds), taking big slurps from my giant mug of English tea. The TV is off. Phil has popped to Sainsbury’s to pick up his foodie contribution for tomorrow’s staff party and I am enjoying the quiet time, lost in thought. 

I’ve just finished my tea of socca, cottage cheese and spinach, olives and SD tomatoes. Now my tummy is full and so is my heart – full of love and happiness from the day I have had.

I woke early to take Leo to the doctors for a general health check. The doctor, who I hadn’t seen before, was lovely – this was good thing number 1 today. I think Leo liked her too……yeah he sprayed her with wonderful things when his little nappy was removed!! Oops! That was good thing number two because it had me and Phil in stitches!

After that, my dad came round and the happy times just kept on coming. We had coffee and chatted as Leo smiled his gorgeous little face off, before heading to Newcastle to catch up with my favourite girlies and to finally meet one of my ultimate fave bloggers, Laura. I had such a lovely time and feel so blessed to have crossed paths with such wonderful people. Girls, I look forward to many more Starbucks dates in 2013!

In my last post, I did the typical thing that I tend to do when I’m in “Freak-out” mode. I set all these random goals to pick myself up and then feel like a pile of pants when I can’t meet them. It typically happens when I feel tired, out of control and fat. And I guess that’s what I felt like when I wrote the last post – fat, unfit and not in control of anything any more.  The truth is, I’ve just had a baby and my world has been turned upside down. I can’t exercise how I would like, I’m blummin knackered and whenever I eat something that doesn’t fit into the “Super healthy” category, I get a bit of guilt because I know I won’t be able to make myself feel better by going to the gym. Hmmmm……..

Even in writing this post now, I can see clearly through my own behaviour and I’m kicking myself at letting myself fall into old thinking patterns and habits. I don’t need to document everything as it’ll only make me obsessive. I don’t need to get to the gym a certain number of times a week. I just need to keep myself right by exercising when I can and eating healthily like I already do. And yes I’ve lost a lot of my core strength and a lot of my body confidence but I just need to be patient and things will improve with time.

Like Laura and I said today, there are more important things in life and although it is difficult to let go of certain things, like a strenuous workout routine, the things you gain in their place are worth so much more than time spent in the gym. And I’m not saying that it’s easy – some days I get really upset that I feel weak and slow in comparison to what I was…..but jeez, when I see my son smiling and kicking his little legs, I wouldn’t change it for the world…..

…..and on that note, here are my new goals:

- spend as much time with family and friends as possible

- exercise when I can and remember that a little bit is better than nothing

- have a green juice or smoothie whenever there are greens at hand

- drink lots of water..and then some more! (breast feeding makes you thirsty!)

- get the cookbooks out – now this goal I intend to keep!

- end each day by jotting down the things that made me smile

- get my core strength back -check out these lovely ladies for some serious plank action!

- relax with yoga – I plan to join a baby yoga class in the new year

Anyway…my baby needs cuddles and so does his mummy

much love,

xoxo